Know where you want to go;
Identify the people who can help you get there;
Get with those people and help them succeed;
Let them reciprocate by helping you do the same;
Stay in regular contact with those people;
Enjoy mutual success and a great relationship.
- Keith Ferrazzi
Author, “Never Eat Alone”
The original title of Keith Ferrazzi’s book, Never Eat Alone, was “You can’t get there alone,” but he deferred to his publisher’s instincts and “Voila!” a New York Times best seller. And Keith is right, you can’t get there alone. You can’t be successful on your own.
The key points are:
a) Know where you want to go - knowing what success looks like, so you’ll recognize it when you get there (and also realizing that few busy people want to take the time or put in the effort to help you figure out what you want to do or be when you grow up—that is your responsibility)
b) Identify the people who can help you get there - when identifying people who can make introductions to help you get where you want to go, select people who by nature are either givers or at the least reciprocators (you can recognize them by thinking of the qualities of people in your life who turned out to be that way vs. the non-reciprocating takers and grabbers—ugh).
c) Get with those people and help them succeed - the best way to get to those people is to figure out what you can do for them that will help them be much more successful/effective in their career, personal lives (i.e. help their kids), or in terms of their legacy (i.e. causes they are passionate about). Then figure out how to get to them by helping them to achieve what they want being your sole focus.
d) Let them reciprocate by helping you do the same - when you do get to them and help them to succeed in any of the areas in c above, and if you have selected properly, they will then reciprocate. And when they do, have something specific they can help you with (don’t frustrate them by being unclear).
e) Stay in regular contact with these people - design and keep to a plan that keeps you in regular contact with these people and regularly helping them to be successful.
f) Enjoy mutual success AND a great relationship.
And by the way, don't try to get there alone, go out and buy, Never Eat Alone.
Subscribe to Usable Insight of the Week.